On this week’s Weekend Writing Warriors, a story I started a couple of years ago.
Cody’s mission plan for the night? Drown missed opportunities and forget his lack of future before stumbling home to his nearby rental. His second whiskey sufficiently numbed his pride and loosened his tongue while the beauty dancing near his seat at the bar distracted him in other respects.
A short chain of glittery diamonds dangled from her navel as she rocked her hips. No ink graced her honey brown skin, but the way her hips, he’d be willing to bet a Benjamin one lurked somewhere beneath the slinky gold halter top or the skin tight jeans. Dark loose curls swept down her back bouncing in time with the pounding bass of the dance tune.
Except for the mini lights strung along the glass rack of the bar and a few sporadic red bows hung in the seaside tavern, it didn’t look or feel like Christmas time. The Outer Banks’ balmy weather had the Casino II’s patrons dressed in summer attire.
Swiveling back to face the bartender, he ordered another round.
“You on the hunt, bro?” Jake eyed the woman among the gyrating bodies while serving Cody his drink.
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Dani Jace. Romance Author 
Was a good excerpt but is this today’s? Puzzled by the comments going back to August (especially mine LOL) which kinda seem to be about something else? The description here was terrific though…
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Dumb me meant to copy post and insert new info. Will have to update
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To answer the question about being on the hunt–in short, YES.
Also, one little suggestion, if you don’t mind. The first sentence was awkward to parse, and I think it’s the punctuation. The comma just doesn’t cut it. My favorite would be a colon, though not everyone would agree; some folks think semicolons, let alone colons, are too formal.
== Cody’s mission plan for the night: drown missed opportunities
Second favorite: a question mark.
== Cody’s mission plan for the night? Drown missed opportunities
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Yep, I agree Ed. I had the first sentence with a colon and then changed it. It does feel a little too formal but I do like changing it to a question! Thanks!
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nice snippet. I like the sense of his despair or he’s looking for something to shake whatevers on his mind.
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A little of both, I think. Thanks Michelle!
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