Rewrite the Scene

RWW bannerThis on week on Romance Writers Weekly, I posed rewriting a short scene from  a book, TV or movie.  One that you would have rather gone a different direction. S C Mitchell and Gemma Brocato took the challenge. I can’t wait to read their scenes.

My change-up scene is from the movie, Something SBBorrowed. I read the book as well but the film is more ingrained in my memory because of Colin Egglesfield. I became enthralled with the GQ hottie and eventually based my hero, Jax, from Sand and Sin on Colin’s looks.

Colin plays Dex and my hero’s name is Jax. Geez, I’m just catching my subliminal name association as I write this! Here’s the set-up: Dex has been in love with the protagonist, Rachel, but is engaged to her best friend, Marcie.

Dex is handsome but also a gentleman and all about doing the right thing. He’s weak willed in standing up for what he wants in life, ultimately make everyone happy but himself. In the last scene of the movie, he hides when his ex-finance shows up at Rachel’s apartment and overhears Marcie telling Rachel she is pregnant with another man’s child. In my opinion, he should have manned up to complete his character arc. He would have eventually found out about Marcie’s cheating ways.

I’ll start the scene where Dex is waiting outside of Rachel’s brownstone apartment building. She’s just returned from England. A trip she took after she spilled her heart to Dex and he said he couldn’t call off the wedding. From his POV:

My heart is lodged in my throat as I stand on the steps of Rachel’s apartment building.

She exits the taxi, turns with her suitcase and stops. “You need to go. Marcie deserves better, so do you. So do I.”

Sweat prickles at the back of my collar. I should have told her my feelings back in law school. Years wasted trying to please everyone but myself and the woman I love. “I called off the wedding.”

Her beautiful brown eyes widen. “When?”

“The night you left.” I’d let Rachel walk away in the rain after she confessed her love me and told me she wished she’d never introduced me to Marcie.

Rachel arches her brows. “How’s she taking it?”

Rachel always thinks of others first. Possibly the reason we never made it to becoming a couple.  “She’s pissed.” But if I knew Marcie, she’s was only worried over what everyone would think. “I love you, Rachel. It’s always been you.”

Her eyes water. She motions me inside as she opens the door.

I grab her suit case and follow her up the stairs.

She closes her apartment door, tosses her keys on the foyer table then faces me. “So what now?”

I drop my jacket on a chair and step close. Brushing her dark bangs from her eyes, I tell her what’s in my heart. “Can we take up where we left off the night we celebrated passing Torts? Before Marcie showed up.”

“You know how many times I regretted leaving you there with her?” She sighs.

“I never should have gone back inside the bar after following you.”

“I told you to.”

“And I should have told you I was in love with you, then.” I press my lips to hers and am lost.

A banging at the door follows with Marcie’s shrill voice, “Open up Rachel. I have to talk to you!”

Rachel jumps and pulls away. “Ahh, give me a minute, I’m changing clothes.” She motions for me to hide.

I grab my jacket and start for the spare room then stop. “No.”

Rachel pales. “Dex. Please.”

“Time to take a stand.” I slide my arm around her and open the door to a new life of freedom.

Pardon if I missed a tense as I’m not used to writing  in present tense. Check out  Gemma Brocato’s awesome rewritten scene next!

 

 

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Rewrite the Scene”

  1. I completely agree with your assessment Dani. Dex should have manned up. After all, he’d already broken up with Marcie. I really like this movie and you did a great job re-imagining the ending.

    Like

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